He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
