Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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