just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
