9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There's always time for handjobs
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
