I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
