I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
