I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
