i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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