The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
