Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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