since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
