i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
