Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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