currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
No subtext here. People are naked.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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