god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
