i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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