I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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