who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
