What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize