She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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