Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize