Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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