He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
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Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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