So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just cut my nipple shaving
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just pee around me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
