i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
