She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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