the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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