wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter