If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here