I want to have your abortion
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green