I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
