oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
