they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
