Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
