I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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