definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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