just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
