I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
