in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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