she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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