Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
