I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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