just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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