didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
