Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
