So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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