Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
