I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you would pick up someone in the library
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
