her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
