Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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