butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
