as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
