I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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