I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
zippers are such a cool invention
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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