he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
