pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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