Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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