was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
