I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
