did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
