i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
