There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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