Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
