Me too!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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