we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
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I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
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After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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