We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
