I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Randomize