I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
