I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize